Criminal Mass

Those of you who didn't attend Gold Front's Criminal Mass show this past weekend should feel ashamed. Not only did the costumes improve, the raps get more on beat, and the sickle more pungent, but the toes even got touched by many if not all. The night started off blistery with Icelandic Rob even wincing. After a few Ol' Glory's the Christina tide washed over us all and we decided to picket our own show. After all, we would not stand for such a debauchery of music in the name of that god awful sin called rap.

The picketing went in waves and caused a few close fender benders on S. Virginia St. Whynot captured most of the chants such as 'Vote Bush / in 1008' and 'Rappers are sinners / and no ones a winner' along with 'buy a Hummer / cut more lumber' and the obvious ' Gold Fronts / Go Home!' After the crowd was thoroughly riled to a furvor Crunkyard removed his priest robe to present pure gold. I'm talking 420 kt. So to did Snortin' Rocks, Sex Nightly, Skinny Dip, Nate Watson, and even yours truly Gutta' Junk. The Rocky theme music came on in a triumph of shadow punches and Criminal Mass entered the ring. After this people just got annihilated and if you weren't there you don't deserve to hear about it. But instead you should come to the Reno Bike Project fundraiser on the 18th at noon @ Record Street Cafe. Not because Criminal Mass will play, which they won't, but because you owe it to yourself as a lowlife procrastinater and probably are talking right now about how Reno has no culture. Yeah, you're right. It doesn't. Especially when you're sitting at your house complaining to your friend about it.